crazycompanion

Smiles plastered onto fake faces. Name brand clothes and newlt done hair as far as the eye can see. Women laughing empty laughs. They all claim to be different But they are far from unique cookie cutter make up long arcilic nails They try to find beauty in their fashion magazines trying to find self-esteem in others stares they think they are perfect beauty queens without flaws we can see them past their destigner clothes and silicone breasts to their shattered blackened heart they try to cover their tear stained cheeks with liquid foundation and cover girl blush perfect is unreachable yet they cut and mold their bodies to fit

if i could go back in time i would change it all i'd start at day one when i was just a baby girl i'd make him care i'd make my daddy want me more than he wanted air i'd convince him to get off drugs i'd show him how good i could be if he would have helped me collect bugsi'd try and id try to be the best little girl so i wouldnt make my mama cry i'd beg my dady not to kill that man and think of me instead i would have told him to try as hard as he can to bring himself to love me and hold me and tell me its alright id tell  him just to try and be the best father he could be maybe if i told him all of this i would have grew u

I wish i was pretty. I wish i was smart. I wish inside i wasn't torn apart. I wish i could just get over all the negative I wish i was free I wish i was happy with being me I wish i never did the things that i've done I wish my relapses were spaced out a little more I wish i didn't feel like i'm rotting to the core I just wish I can get over all these wishes.